Thursday, June 28, 2012

Mitt Romney Poised To Enslave Earth:

Overlords To Be Disclosed In 2013!

Mitt Romney, an avowed Mormon, believes there are populated planets led by Mormon forefathers. Mormonism is clear on the hierarchy of loyalty. There is no cause higher than the Mormon Faith. This loyalty is not without its reward. In the Mormon faith those that adhere to the tenets of their religion are rewarded in their afterlife with a planet to rule. With untold millions of Mormons dead, surely some of them were faithful enough to get their planet kingdom. It only makes sense that any alien civilizations that come to Earth would, in fact, be Mormons. The people of Kolob will eventually find their way back to Earth. What pledge of allegiance will they require?

Recently, Massachusetts delegates to the republican convention were required to sign an affidavit that pledges their fealty to Mitt Romney. Apparently Ron Paul Libertarian types were appalled at the notion that for the first time, delegates were required to sign an affidavit, under the penalty of perjury, that they would support Mitt Romney. No longer are delegates to align themselves to the will of the people or what is best for the country, but for Mitt Romney. Rather than befoul themselves with the stench of fealty, some chose to resign as delegates. This allowed the Mormon Overlords of the Republican Party to put in place good and decent plebes; also known as Republican Delegates.

Soon our Alien Overlords will come. And America, under the stewardship of Mitt Romney, will swear American fealty, not to the people, but to the ruler of some far distant star. The Kingdom of Heaven is indeed upon us. It may not be the heaven you believe in. But the Book of Mormon tells us there is indeed only one way to get into the Real Heaven, and that is to be Mormon. Luckily for the Mormons they have a list of all those who have died. They have been busy baptizing them posthumously in secret rituals. They will have the recorded masses of several generations at the ready to proselytize Earth.

Prepare yourself. The Mormons are coming. And you will be their devotees; whether you want to or not. So sayeth King Romney.


  1. Um, are they going to eat us?

  2. ROFL!

    Uhm... no... well... maybe the fat ones. To them our fatties taste like bacon. But predominantly we are to be used for labor. And accolades. Overlords love accolades. So, fare the well if you are an astute sycophant. You may just make it into the luxurious inner chambers of power.

  3. realmente esta noticia es alucinante,FANÁTICOS,SENSILLAMENTE FANÁTICOS.